OK, I am determined to do this. I will post here more often. I am speaking it out now. Been busy, lots 'o drama. I tend to "withdraw" when the drama train comes steaming through. I don't like it. I don't like drama. I know it is part of being a human being here on planet Earth, but I don't have to like it.
Abbie (neice) and Caiden (nephew) spent some time with us for the past couple of weeks and it has been fun. Lots of swimming, playing, chatting, just genuine summer fun.
We are getting ready to head back down South to see Dad and Allison, Tiff, and all the cousins. We are leaving Saturday and returning July 3rd. Canyon has the greatest 4th of July party in the park. Hillside Canyon is doing something awesome this year. They are renting a bunch of jumpers for all the little children to rough house in. Can't wait. I began asking the Lord to connect us with other Christians in our community, and man, I am overwhelmed.
For those of you who don't know, after much thought, prayer, and council John Wayne and I decided to break away from Living Truth Ministries. It has been tough and exciting at the same time. We have many friends there that we will always love. We had gone to Plum Creek Fellowship for a little over 5 years. After much drama and a split, rather a fracture, a new body was formed and planted a church in Amarillo called Living Truth Ministries. What a great little church it is. I have high hopes and pray often for their success in this world. We had never been through anything like this and let me just tell you a church split is sort of like living a bad dream. We had about 3 days to consider where we fell. I was determined to support a very precious friend who was hurting and fragile. My man (who is so awesome) just went with the flow, for the most part. He voiced his thoughts with his gentle spirit, he has wisdom beyond his years. He wanted to spend some more time in prayer before any decisions were made about where we would attend church and I simply told him I could not do that. I had to be with my friends. He said, OK, I love you and want you happy, BUT, this may create a difficult situation later. I'm just sayin'.
As the new church was born, so was a new chapter to many lives that were affected, especially ours. Before the Plum Creek split, God had begin to gently reveal new ideas about where He wanted to use us in His kingdom, to both of us, separately and together. We were comfortable a PCF, but were aware of some leadership tension. The leaders tried to keep the congregation in the dark about the issues, but needless to say, people are perceptive, we are perceptive. We knew that things weren't "right." As this became evident, we started discussing the possiblity of worshipping somewhere besides Plum Creek, somewhere closer to home. We both laughed at the idea of having to tell our friends that we were going to leave the church. We never wanted to have to do that, I am sure no one ever wants to do that. Probably why folks tend to simply disappear from churches. Besides all that, how arrogant to think that what we do and where we are in our faith journeys would affect others greatly. I mean, we know we are loved and would be missed. We know that the flesh desires to keep familiar surroundings and friends, brothers and sisters in Christ close, but the fact is that God does not promise us that. "Enter through the narrow gate....." Matt. 7:13 His way is not always the easy way.
So, we began to pray for guidance. We asked Him for His will. As LTM was well on its way, we were praying, asking, desiring to know God's plans for our family. We were involved at LTM, serving, teaching, and fellowshipping. I always ask God to show me His face, Holy Spirit, speak to me in such a way that I understand you, that your desires for me are unmistakeable. Jesus, lead us, guide us, talk to us with your signs and wonders. He is faithful. There have been times in my faith journey that I could not discern the voice of God very well. It was jumbled and confusing. This was not one of those times. The signs came clearly and quickly that we were not to sell our house. Naturally, JW's work, precious friends, and our church were all in Amarillo, the North side of Amarillo. We contemplated selling our house to be closer to what seemed at the time to be our whole life. God, almost audibly, said no. I have you where I have placed you because that is where I want you. We both heard it and were in aggreement about it. He is our life.
So now what??? We began asking if LTM was the right place for us. He began to reveal His answer. So, when all else fails, go to the word. I want to share a verse that He gave me, "You are the salt of the Earth. [why thank you Lord, I love you too!] BUT, if the salt looses is saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matt. 5:13 My saltiness was waining and my husband's was too. But why? Not sure. Never got that answer. We didn't want to be trampled by men.
As we dug deeper and talked and talked and talked, (we have two little chairs in our kitchen where we sit and talk almost every night when he gets home from work. Priceless time and communication happens sitting in those chairs.) We both, again, were in aggreement that our lives where at a crossroads. Stay at LTM with our friends, or listen to God. I must admit, it was an extremely hard decision. As crazy as it sounds, our flesh is very powerful and it can skew what God is clearly saying. We continued to pray, but began seeking the council of other Christians. People we respected, trusted, and knew had been through this struggle. We asked them to pray and they did. We asked for their wisdom and they shared it. We asked for their honesty, they were honest. Both together and apart, we sought Him and those He used and found our answer. And so it goes, we knew that our time as a part of the LTM body was drawing to a close.
I had a trip planned to South TX to see family and pick up kids. We aggreed before I left that it was time to tell our friends that we were going to be taking a break from LTM. We decided how we thought was the best way to handle it and that is what we did. We have begun the exciting adventure of visiting churches. I say adventure because it is a little scary, but exciting at the same time. We want so badly to find a place to worship and serve in Canyon, but are open to where God wants us and will follow His commands. We are also open to going back to LTM. We have dilligently sought Him through this time in our lives and He has been faithful, He isn't going to leave us now.
